ups and downs after cuddles

28 + 5 days gestation.
I arrived at the hospital that morning still high from our amazing experience the day before.  But my poor little darling was not having such a great day.  She wasnt tolerating her feeds and was having almost constant desats and braddy's.  She'd splint, desat, braddy over and over.  Her little tummy was aspirated that afternoon to see how well she was digesting her food, and she wasnt digesting well at all, she still had 9ml of milk in her tummy.
She had another echo and it looked as though the PDA had narrowed from 4mm to 1.38mm, but we still had to await an official report.

All day I sat and gave her Reiki and talked to her, I couldnt shake the feeling that it was my fault she was feeling sick, maybe she hadnt really been strong enough for cuddles.  Maybe by wanting cuddles I had been selfish and my poor poppet was suffering because of it. 
I called a few times that evening because she had a temperature and they were worried she was getting another infection, but so far her CRP had come back good.  I wondered if I had brought some bug to her despite the fact the we were all well.  The reason they suspected an infection was because typically Jazz was very active, but this afternoon she'd been lethargic.  She was due to have another transfusion that night which might perk her up, and hadnt had any braddy's since 5.30pm.  Her feeds had been reduced back to 5ml at 3.00pm.

Her ventilation and oxygen had been reduced earlier in the day in an attempt to get her breathing for herself, but Co2 went up to 81, by the evening it had dropped back to 61 and her ventilation had been increased again.

28+6
Jazz did better overnight, but was still having braddy's.  Not as many desats except when she splints and blocked the tube. 
Today she was very active after her transfusion, and her infection markers were thankfully still normal.  When the doctors did their rounds, they told me the cardiologist had unofficially told them Jazzies PDA is now small, and there was no mention of more meds!
David told me she's ventilator dependant.  They'll keep trying to reduce the ventilator settings, if only to improve her muscles.  She'll probably need to have a short course of steroids to get her off.