Things went smoothly 'til around 17 weeks. My braxton hicks contractions had been very strong this time around, and at one stage during the 17th week I was doubled over briefly with an extremely nasty one. It didnt happen again so I just brushed it off. But during the 18th week, as I was getting the other kids to bed I got an extremely nasty pain down low on my right side, I had to sit and was quite worried so I called the midwives. They told me to take 2 panadol and call back in an hour. When I called and said it had improved, they told me it was just round ligament pain, nothing to worry about. At my 19 week ultrasound (which was done at the end of 18 weeks!!) something wasnt quite right. After having the scan and finding out I was having a girl, I was told I needed to see the obstetrician. When I saw him, he told me that I had been bleeding into the sac, and that my baby had a two vessel umbilical cord (which can cause kidney problems) and an echogenic bowel. I told him my eldest son had also had a 2 vessel cord with no kidney problems and the obstetrician said that he thought everything was ok, an echogenic bowel (which means its not see through) can be a sign of downs syndrome, but it can also be caused by the baby swallowing blood, he said its actually fairly common. He referred me to foetal diagnostics just to be sure. The appointment would be at 23 weeks gestation.
Two days later I went to the loo, there was a small amount of dark discharge. Once again I called the midwives who told me to come and get checked, after hours and hours they did a speculum, said all was ok and sent me home. The following morning when I went to the loo I found I was bleeding. It was a saturday and my dad looked after the other kids while mum took me to hospital. I sat in a hospital room all day, bleeding the whole time and having no clue as to what was happening. Mum had called her sister and my 27 year old cousin and asked them to come as mum needed some support too. After a few hours mum and aunty dawn went home to get some stuff and left Jodie with me.
A midwife came in and did an amnisure to check if there was any fluid leak......there was. I asked what that meant for my baby and she told me Jazz was going to die. Poor Jodie, I was absolutely beside myself, trying to ask questions but sobbing so hard and gasping for breath at the same time, it was like I couldnt breathe!!!! Jo was so traumatised!!! but she handled it really well! She called Aunty Dawn in a panic!! When Aunty Dawn answered, in a hissing whisper Jodie said "where the f@ck are you???!!!!"Mum and Aunty Dawn got back fairly quickly and after a while I was sent home to wait.
Aunty Dawn and Jo went home, we went back to stay at my mums. Within 45 minutes of getting home, as I was resting, I felt a massive gush. I ran to the loo and I swear it looked like someones throat had been cut!! I told mum, trying to stay calm and not panic the kids. As she was getting ready to take me to the hospital I had another massive gush of blood. When we got to the hospital, we were taken straight into delivery. Now the traumatising really started. The midwives told me Jazz was coming now, and was going to die. As I was only 19.5 weeks, there was no chance for her. I was told she might be born breathing and may breathe up to an hour before she died and they would do nothing. I was told she would be see through and likely to be covered in bruises from the harsh trip down the birth canal.....I was also told worse stuff....but I think it best not to include it here....needless to say mum and I were very traumatised!
We waited for hours, and I kept saying I couldnt understand how they coould say she was going to die, she was incredibly active (as usual) inside me and I know that sick babies generally stop moving to conserve energy. The midwives just kept telling me to say goodbye and let her go........but Jazz didnt want to go!!
After many hours I just couldnt stand being in that room anymore, listening to other women give birth to healthy full term babies all around me. I asked mum to wheel me downstairs. I had to get away. When we came back up, I found Id been put in a small delivery suite right up the back of the ward. Nurses came occasionally, but mostly we were left alone. The wait had begun.
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