They say a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. And it was with impossibly tiny feet that Jazzie took that first step on her monumentous journey.
I dont really know what time I actually fell asleep, but at 6am I was back to Bay 7 to see my little miracle. Again I was totally blown away by her tiny size and absolute perfection. She was intubated of course, but so far still only required room air, which is 21% oxygen. I was told this oxygen requirement would go up during her stay, but we had been told she'd be on huge amounts of oxygen from the moment of her birth, so to me this was the first testament to her incredible strength and tenacity!!
She had a tube going into her navel, delivering nutrients, monitor probes, the ventilator tube and an IV drip delivering antibiotics. The monitor 'dots' which are actually tiny, were massive on her minute little body.
As she was so small, she was unable to regulate her body temperature, so her temperature was up and down and all over the place. This is standard for a premature baby. Incredibly, she was still kicking and waving her arms around, amazing to see something so small and fragile behaving so strong and feisty!! But what would you expect from a champion womb trampolinist!!
Early in the day the nurses brought in an isolette, this was to be her home until she was big enough to regulate and maintain her own body temperature. I helped to take her out of her ziplock bag, that was a bit freaky!! Her skin was so moist and fragile, I had to very slowly and carefully peel the plastic off her as she was so sticky!!
Carefully, and tenderly, she was placed into the isolette, her synthetic 'womb', and covered with a plastic sheet to keep her warm. The short distance between the flat bed and the isolette was enough to make her temperature plummet, so until she was toasty again, she needed her plastic blankie.
Paul and my mum and dad came to visit. My dad is a man of VERY few words and very little physical contact, but he gave me the biggest hug when he saw Jazz, and while he didnt say much, you could tell it was very overwhelming for him, in fact, we saw dad rarely until Jazz began to graduate through the bays. Paul was very much the same, he seemed to find it extremely difficult and only visited a few times during her stay.
Mum was a wonderful support throughout, but couldnt get in much as she was caring for my other 3 kids, so it was predominately just me and Jazz.
People asked how I was feeling.....it was strange. You have all the usual emotions that you have after giving birth- Joy, elation, excitement, wonder etc....but at the same time youre also feeling grief, devastation, depression, emptiness, fear, lonliness......I think you go through the entire gammut of emotions simultaneously!!!!
Early afternoon on this first day, I began expressing breast milk. I had been a brilliant cow for my other kids with a massive over supply of milk, so I was confident I could do a great job for Jasmine. My first hand ecpression yeilded 2.8ml, I assumed it would increase exponentially as usual...but the next expression yeilded only 1ml....then .4ml....and another .4ml, I was beginning to feel depressed and inadequate! I could have fed an entire army of infants with the milk I produced for the other kids, but for the one whos life really depended on it, it appeared I was unable..
I spent the rest of the day between expressing and visiting Jazz....and having Zoukis coffee.
I was visited by the social worker,and given a booklet on extremely premature babies.
At some stage I realised I didnt have a clue what jazzies stats were!! A nurse went off to find out, and wrote them on a card for me. 526g, 20cm head circumference, 28cm long
It was a very long first day, but the adrenalin mustve still been pumping because it wasnt until the wee hours of the morning again that I finally fell asleep.
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