I was sent to Monash at 23 weeks and 5 days gestation, although looking back through my early pregnancy records, and going by my first dates (which are the most accurate) I was actually 23 weeks and 3 days, which would mean Jazz was really 24 weeks exactly rather than 24 +2........dont know when the dates were changed, or why...not that it really makes much difference in the scheme of things, just a curiosity!!!
I settled into a shared room....which was a bit of a culture shock, some of those women snore worse than a man!!! Most were only in for a night, one was in for the long haul. Her dates were the same as mine, she had a shortening cervix. She'd managed to hold onto her first til 30 something weeks and was hoping to do the same or better this time. I was visited by one of the young doctors on my first or second day and was a bit peeved to say the least when she asked if I wanted Jazz helped if she came early....why on earth would I have been on bedrest all this time had I not wanted Jazzie helped!!! Clearly she didnt read my history!!
Soon after, one of the neonatologists, Flora, visited. She explained worst case scenarios of course, but unlike casey hospital, Flora didnt say that the worst case was the only outcome. She explained that if Jazz came soon, she would require oxygen and described some of the things to expect. Of course, anyone who's ever been in a neonatal intensive care unit, especially with their own bub, can tell you that nothing will ever prepare you for whats coming!!!
I was able to relax a little at Monash, not much poking and prodding and finally no speculums!!! Looking back, and at the time, it felt like I was waiting at Monash for ages, but it was only 5 days!!!
I was still bleeding, nothing had changed aside from the fact that I was somewhere safer. The sunday night came and went. Monday morning I woke fairly anxious, no speculum the previous night/morning; no doritos.....no hemorrhaging!! I was quietly confident that day!
My confidence was shattered though around 4.30 that afternoon when the bleeding became heavier and heavier, and I began getting tightenings around the area of my placenta that was bleeding, this had all happened before, but something seemed different this time. Perhaps it was because it wasnt a full hemorhage after a speculum, or maybe its just intuition. I called the midwives in for some panadol, but by about 5pm I began getting pains in my back, lower abdomen and slight bowel pressure. A midwife sat with me, her hand on my abdomen to feel each tightening. I tried to keep myself relaxed and appear neutral, but I could see that she was feeling each tightening slowly build, then release and I knew this was probably it.
She said I was being taken to delivery, as a precaution. I could feel the fear start to build and grabbed my phone and called Paul and mum. Paul was at his house on Phillip Island and would be at least 1.5hrs, but mum was only 30 minutes away.
When I got to delivery, a doctor did another bloody dreaded speculum, which of course set off excrutiating contractions!! I can only hope that when that woman is in labour, they give her a speculum!! They couldnt see the cervix due to the amount of blood, so she went to get the obstetrician. In the meantime, mum arrived. The contractions had by this time become stronger and more frequent, but thankfully still short and quite irregular.
Jazzie was still doing her somersaults and trampolining, blissfully unaware of the danger she was in and the little bugger was still breech which I found really scarey! I was terrified for her.
My panic was rising with each passing minute, I'd been told that many horror stories about the dangers of a tiny baby going through the birth canal, the brain bleeds, severe bruising and other even nastier things. I dont remember exactly when it was, but I was given another big hit of steroids at some stage too.
After a while, the midwife came in with the gas, she said the obstetrician wanted to do another speculum and that it was going to take a long time as they needed to clean out all the blood to see what was happening. The gas was because this was going to be particularly unpleasant and painful. Yep, it was! Its amazing to me, that I could give birth to 3 full term babies with no drugs at all, yet to give birth to a small bottle of coke I had to suck that gas like it was going out of fashion!!!
That speculum was a cruel and unusual punishment to say the least!! They determined that I was 2cm dilated and they could see a show. The obstetrician and midwife both said it could all still just be an irritated uterus and possibly calm down, but having had 3 kids already, I know that when I dilate and have a show its game on!!
I started getting extremely anxious and asked if they had a bed ready for the baby. By this stage Paul had arrived, I think he mustve broken every land speed record to get there as quick as he did!!
The midwife thought it was still going to be a while yet and left the room, telling mum where the call button was. A few minutes later, Donna was buzzed back in! I had loads of bowel pressure and had begun getting pressure and extremely sharp pains up inside the vagina, I'd never felt anything like it!!!!! I needed to wee, but when Donna had a quick look, she said no, better insert a catheter. I knew then it was really close, and felt so close to total panic!
Only a few moments later Donna asked me to push. It was so hard, because I really didnt want to push, I was terrified, I thought I was killing my baby. Two pushes and Jazz was out, I just started bawling, grief took over, there was no elation.
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